We are officially beginning a new month, and just in case you were wondering, I will go ahead and tell you, “No, my wish bracelet has not fallen off yet!” My friends laugh at me for wearing the scrappy looking thing, and my niece, Kassie, still thinks that she knows more than me. Even though everyday I am tempted to cut it off, I am wearing this thing till the last thread breaks!
I believe it is just a matter of time. I hear the tiny beads falling to the floor, as the string that used to hold them tight unravels. Thread by thread, bead by bead, I just know it’s happening. I need to hear that sound; tiny little taps on the floor, usually in small bunches. It sounds to me like the sound of promise. Like there is hope that one day soon the whole bracelet will fall off and then, you know, my wish will come true. That’s the part I am waiting for.
I can deal with having to pick up those little beads off the floor, but what I do not like is the waiting, the wondering, the thought that all my wishes are being put on hold permanently. That is what drives me crazy. I’ve told you before, I got big wishes, big dreams, and big plans! I have a big imagination, just like my children, so maybe that is why it is taking so long for the darn thing to fall off.
As October rolls in, I am reminded that it was about this time last year when we held out first golf tournament for The Holt Rowland Foundation. Also, this time last year, our website and blog had just been in existence for about a month. When I first sat down to write about how our foundation began, I did not realize how much blogging would mean to me. Being able to share stories from our life and lessons that God has taught us has been such a privilege. I want to thank you for taking the time to read my blog posts and for sharing them with others. Holt would be so thankful for the encouragement you have given his mama.
If you read our very first blog post, “What’s this all about?,” you know that from the very beginning this foundation has been a God-thing. Nothing initiated by our family, but simply people being moved by God and following in obedience. As many of you know, the primary thing that our foundation does publicly is award scholarship money to seniors from Pierce County High School. In the last year, we have proudly awarded scholarships to four different students. You may be aware of these scholarships, but I wanted to share a few other ministry projects that we have participated in as well: Stop Hunger Now, purchased FCA Bibles to be given away in surrounding high schools, helped fund four new missionaries in the Dominican Republic, and contributed to a Coaches Clinic being held in the Dominican.
It has been a blessing to be able to give back to our community and across our world. Our giving is only made possible because of people who have been willing to give to us, and we thank you. From hole sponsors and golfers, to people who bought t-shirts, sweatshirts, and jackets,to people who have donated, we thank every single one of you. Without your help, The Holt Rowland Foundation would not be able to “Leave A Mark for Good,” so thank you, thank you, thank you!
Call it a “mother’s intuition,” but from the start, I have felt that our little foundation was meant to be part of a bigger purpose. At first, it drove me crazy because I could not fathom what we should be doing and how we could do it. I just couldn’t develop a plan. I wondered… I thought… I prayed….a lot. I prayed for God to give me an idea, something that would somehow fit with Holt’s personality and incorporate things he cared about. I had three main goals in mind for our purpose: give back to our community, give back through missions, and involve sports. Not very specific goals but at least that was a starting point.
I would like to tell you that God revealed our purpose to me quickly, but that would not be true. It took time, lots of time. It took tearful prayers and some whining, I might add. While I was traveling this summer I had some alone time in the car, all the while wearing my wish bracelet. I was driving, singing, praying, and thinking , when little by little, God began to put the pieces of a plan in my mind. A bit here, a bit there; the formation of an idea which developed into a plan. Right there in my car, driving in heavy Atlanta traffic, it was like the total idea came to my mind. My first thought, “God, I could never make something like this idea into a reality!” And, then I heard a voice in my spirit say, “You are absolutely right. You cannot make this dream into a reality,… but I can!” Immediately, I began crying. My prayers had been answered; God had given The Holt Rowland Foundation the beginning of a plan and the first clue about our bigger purpose.
That plan was given to me in the middle of the summer, and now, as you well know, it is October. As of yet, I do not see my plan becoming anything but an idea.( So now you know why I am so ready for my wish bracelet to fall off!! I am looking for any sign I can get!! ) I know God is working out some details, and details take time. It’s like those tiny beads that fall off my bracelet randomly. I cannot see that they are about to fall. I don’t see the progress of the threads as they thin and wear. I only look and see the whole bracelet itself is not budging day after day. I can’t see the little, tiny threads softening and getting weaker just like I can’t see all the things that God is doing to develop his plan for me day by day. The behind the scenes work. The changes taking place inside me and my family to prepare us for the plan ahead. At times, I get sad and weary because I begin doubting that I heard God correctly. “Maybe I got a mix up on the plan; maybe I am wrong.” I have those thoughts over and over when I see no results, but I have to believe that even if I got it wrong, God will direct me again and help me get it right.
Maybe that is what trust is all about. Even when we cannot see any results, knowing that God is still working all things for our good. It’s holding back from taking matters in our own hands because we know God has a plan and a way that is better than our own. It’s putting down the scissors and allowing God to decide when the threads pop and the wishes come true.
After all these words, I know you are still wondering…”What’s this all about now?” …. I really wish I could tell you, and I promise, in time, I will. Right now I am praying for God to make a few more beads fall first. But don’t worry, I will reveal the plan to you soon because when The Holt Rowland Foundation does fulfill it’s bigger purpose, I want you to know that God is the very one who made it happen.